After thirty-five years of married life, Amy and I have decided it’s time to take a cruise. This first one will be short. It would be a disaster to be on one of those ten day jaunts and discover half way through it that we hated the whole thing. I’m still nervous enough about going.
To begin with, the first trip we scheduled was canceled. Something was wrong with the ship on which we were to sail. Somehow that doesn’t inspire a great deal confidence in the cruise line. Thoughts of the Titanic and sinking ships in the Caribbean come to mind. Was the breakdown an portent of things to come should we decide to go? I’m not sure that we’ll enjoy our destination this time. Are the Bahamas better than Key West and Cozumel?
I don’t travel so well anyway. We will be in Miami for almost two days before boarding the ship. Too many television shows have me feeling uncomfortable about spending that much time in a strange city. Ask my family. For some inexplicable reason, I always manage to get us lost at least once in the seedier parts of cities. Whether it’s been in Charleston, SC, Tampa, FL, or Nashville, TN, I’ve managed to navigate the car to the most crime-infested areas of those places, and I do so at night. The good lord has watched over us to keep trouble from finding us as I zipped our car through dangerous neighborhoods in search of an Interstate ramp. With my luck, we’ll end up in some kind of predicament that would make a perfect screen play for “Miami Vice.”
Most of all, I’m concerned about getting seasick. I have a chronic ear problem that can instantly bring on terrible cases of vertigo. Hey, don’t laugh. I might be the only person in the history of Disney World to get sick on the paddle boat ride from the parking area to the park. I know that patches behind the ear are supposed to take care of most problems, but the thoughts of hopping on board, turning green, and needing to toss my cookies have me hedging just a bit. If I’m in the middle of the ocean on a boat and am sick as a dog, I might fall overboard as I hang my head to feed the fish. Either that or Amy might shove me over to keep from hearing my whining. Lying on the bed and praying to God that the world will stop spinning isn’t my idea of a fun vacation.
If all goes well, as Amy predicts, we’ll have a wonderful time and wish the trip had been longer. I’ll hold all evaluations until my feet once again hit solid ground. With a little luck, I’ll arrive back in Knoxville tanned and contented in the end of February. Is so, I might stock up on those patches so we can take one of those long cruises next. Wish me luck. Bon Voyage!
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