Cruising Lessons

For those of you who read and offered to take my place on the cruise, I say thanks. However, I took your advice, stopped griping and went myself. It was a nice way to spend four days. Although the temperatures were below what was normal for Miami and Nassau, we still enjoyed shirt-sleeve weather over the brisk, wintry mix we left in Knoxville. I learned many things on this short trip that surprised me.

First, cruise lines have perfected the process of boarding and leaving ships. We stood in line for only a brief time. In fact, the lines at meal time might have moved slower than those that served the entire passenger lists. The federal and state government could take some pointers on handling crowds from the cruise lines. For people who have ever been to the Social Security offices or the Tennessee DMV, the suggestion will resonate. Even doctors might learn a thing or two about how to keep patients flowing through their offices.

Another thing I learned is that rudeness isn’t the exclusive characteristic of Americans. Folks on our ship rooted in lines like pigs. The bars were undermanned, a fact that led some to cut line. Some people left messes wherever they went. Yes, it’s a cruise and the crew is at everyone’s service, but that does not mean that people should leave trays lying around. One of our favorite spots to sit was on the aft deck. On one visit, it looked as if a food fight had taken place. Food and coke cans were strewn about.

I’m a huge talker, in case someone out there didn’t know. However, I pale in comparison to some on this cruise. One man who had drunk too much flapped his gums for more than thirty minutes. Amy developed a splitting headache, and we finally left. So many people occupying a ship make a lot of noise. Too many times Amy said something, but I couldn’t understand. My “hushing” got on her nerves, and I finally just shook my head when she spoke.

I also discovered that many of the crew members are from other countries. Fine. However, these individuals can’t understand good ol’ East Tennessee language. More than once I asked a question and was met with a frown, scrunched nose, and a “What” from those people. After a couple of more attempts, I turned on my heels in exasperation and made way toward the bar.

Other things I learned were more important. First, it became clear that I CAN sail the seas without becoming violently ill. Sometimes an uneasy feeling flooded over me, but I recovered quickly. Thank God for the generic form of Antivert. I also rediscovered that my best friend in the world is Amy. As Jimmy Buffet sings, “with you I’d walk anywhere.” For whatever reason, this woman puts up with me and actually loves me. Go figure. By the way, the only people who arise at 7:00 a.m. are old people, smokers, and parents with young children. Our best times on this cruise were when we sat together and read or catnapped. It’s a safe bet that Amy and I could be happy anywhere as long as we’re together.

As I write this, our ship is docked in Nassau. Amy and I took in the sites and then returned to the boat to sit by the pool. Soon we’ll have completed our first cruise. We might take another one some time, or we might decide to visit some beach where we can sit all day. As long as we are together, it won’t matter.