Christmas Changes

Christmas has changed a lot in the last couple of years. Amy’s mom doesn’t travel as well since she began dialysis three times a week. Dallas is in Chattanooga, and although he is with us on Christmas, it’s easy to see his squirming and desire to get back home to his life. Who can blame him? Our daughter Lacey and son-in-law Nick now have a son, Madden, and it’s a sure bet that before long, they’ll spend Christmas at home in Nashville instead of traveling to Knoxville and Huntsville, the two cities where parents live. When I think about it, changes during the holiday season have come about for years.

The first serious change in our Christmas came in 1965. Daddy died in August of that year. All of us were in a fog as we tried to get through a rough situation. Jim and I got new bikes, and although we were appreciative, the gifts in no way filled the void that was left. Mother cooked another huge meal that fed extended family, but the day would have been better if Jim, Dal, Mother, and I had spent the day by ourselves.

A year later, Dal was dating Brenda, his future wife. Jim and I didn’t take to her at first. She was a stranger intruding in our Christmas. Dal spent all of his time with Brenda, and we were jealous. As the years passed, Brenda became an important part of our lives and member of our family, and Christmases would have been bluer without her. A few years later, Jim married his Brenda, and I was jealous of him. Another change came, and I felt left out.

In 1974, Amy and I were married on December 20. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t home for the holidays. We spent Christmas Eve with Amy’s family and hit the floor early Christmas morning to make the one hundred mile drive home. I admit my mood was surly, and I doubted this plan would ever catch on.

In 1976 Jim’s son was born, and our Christmas took a different spin. As he grew older and got toys from Santa, Brandon expected us to play with him. Amy and I got him several toy percussion instruments one year. He passed them out, and we all marched through the house playing drums, cymbals, triangles, and other things that made plenty of noise.

Lacey and Mindy both came along in 1981, and Dallas was born in 1985. The house was filled with kids and noise and toys. We still made the trip to Cookeville for the first three years that Lacey was around. Then Amy told her parents that they’d need to come to Knoxville. So, they came, and brought Amy’s uncle and aunt with them. It was an adjustment having so many people in the house for Christmas Eve, Christmas, and the day after, but before long Christmas didn’t seem right without our Cookeville family. Being home with my brothers and their wives, Mother, and kids made for a good holiday.

For the second year now, we are back in Cookeville. Our Christmas Day is spent there. Lacey, Nick, and Dallas make the trip, and we share the special time. We all miss home and Jim’s family. Mother and Dal have passed, and Brenda stays in Nashville with her brood. New places and fewer loved ones change the holiday.

Madden will soon know what’s going on for Christmas. Then things will change again. I can see us making the trip to Nashville that day to watch the first grandchild open his presents. The whole Christmas routine will have come full circle. It will be Amy and I making the trips to our children’s homes, and that’s the way it should be. The change will eventually become the norm.

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