Amy and I watched the movie “Everybody’s Fine” the other night. Here’s a hint, especially for parents: don’t watch it. The movie was depressing, and the plot was disjointed and jerky. What the show did for me was jump-start my mind thinking about what parents need to do for their children.
The first thing deals with moderation. In today’s world, everyone has a sense of entitlement. Somehow, too many kids got the idea that they deserve things and that they are rightfully theirs. We parents are the ones who’ve spread this malicious rumor. Our own parents were the products of the Great Depression. They lived through times when shortages made even the necessities of life tough to get. Many people couldn’t work, and they relied upon the goodness of others to help them make their ways. As adults and parents, this generation promised themselves that they would save and work hard to earn what they got and to hold on to it. They gave their children the things they’d been denied, and now we’re trying to do the same thing with our own offspring. The problem with that is that we didn’t do without too much in our younger years. The things we offer our own children are far removed from needs and more like wants. Really, does an elementary school child need a cell phone or an iPhone? What about a laptop computer? Will they die if they don’t have a new car or designer clothes?
We need to teach that less is better. Of course, we need to live by what we preach. Our kids need to know that going through life with well worn items isn’t bad. These young people are bombarded with notions of recycling and conserving. We can extend that to the things they have, those electronic devices, vehicles, and clothes.
Another thing we need to teach our children is the work ethic. It’s surprising the number of young people who graduate from college and have NO work experience on their resumes. Ask them, and they say sports and other types of activities took up the time that could have been spent earning money. These poor people enter the workforce with inflated ideas about earnings and job titles.
Parents need to insist that their children work a part time job. That experience helps youngster learn the value of a dollar and of a budget. At the same time, they quickly learn the feelings of pride that accompany earning their own money. Work never hurt anyone, and be assured, no matter how much children whine, a job isn’t actually “killing them.”
Our greatest lesson to children is about love. It’s the thing most important in life. They need to know that parents’ love isn't measured by the amount of stuff they give. Kids need to know that loving them means making them responsible for their actions in all situations. We must teach them that loving back means sacrificing. If moms and dads change courses and begin to parent differently, then everybody’s fine. Otherwise, our children are in for a whole lot of hurting and disappointment.
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