Breaking Up

Neil Sedaka sang that “breaking up is hard to do.” No doubt he stated the obvious. Of all the things that kick our emotional butts, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend is the worst. Over the first twenty-one years of my life, I was on the receiving end of female boots as girls unceremoniously dumped me. Like most folks, those times remain vivid in our memory banks.

Suzanne was the first to break up with me. It was in the fifth grade, and I was the lucky guy to be her boyfriend. Suzanne was taller than everyone else in the class. She had dirty blonde hair and a smile that automatically won every boy over. Unlike the rest of the girls in the class, she’d developed “bumps,” but they didn’t seem to make her feel self-conscious.

Suzanne didn’t actually break up. The truth is her family moved. They hadn’t been in Ball Camp for more than a year, and her dad’s work transferred them to Tunnel Hill, Georgia. For the longest time I pined for her. She left me with nothing more but an 8 X 10 black and white school picture. I sometimes wonder what happened to Suzanne and how her life turned out.

Brenda was the next female to kick me to the curb. She came to Ball Camp during the eighth grade with a cute smile and a voice much more suited for a high school senior girl. I never figured out why she became my girlfriend but was glad she made the decision. Brenda was the first girl I talked with on the phone. The conversations were stilted and filled with silence between comments. I remember the Christmas gifts I bought her that year—a bottle of some kind of cheap perfume and a six foot snake. At some point Brenda got tired of me. She called it quits, and the rest of the school year was awkward as we sat in classes together, but separate.

Carolyn was my first high school girlfriend. We got together at an end-of-the-school year swimming party at Inskip Pool. The details are vague, but she left with me and another couple. We were together for a while. At one sock hop, we danced, as I bent over to say something to her over the music, my gum got stuck in her long brown hair. A hunk of it had to be cut out.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that we were through soon after that faux pas. What bothered me the most were the rumors that swirled that Carolyn wanted to go out with my twin. Jim called her to say he’d never go out with her, a valiant act of one brother toward another.

Anda was the first girlfriend after I got my driver’s license. She was a year younger, a cheerleader, and filled with energy. We got together at the Coker’s house one evening after Jim and I had walked in the snow to their house. Two couples were there, and Anda and I were singles. We stayed together through the winter and early spring.

Then the girl dumped me right before junior prom. As it turned out, she wanted to go to the event with Joe Kennedy, the star athlete in my class. I was devastated for quite a while. The girl would stay away for a while and then show up again, as she did one day after I’d had ankle surgery. I saw her at her son’s high school graduation. I’d had him in one of my classes. At last report, she was in the Midwest somewhere.

Jacque was my first girlfriend in college. She was from Nashville, and as I later learned, the girl had her share of problems. She’d supposedly broken up with her high school sweetheart. The guy was a member of the MTSU football team. As it turned out, Jacque hadn’t actually broken up with George. The guy made a trip to Cookeville one night to find me and to beat me senseless. The stars were aligned so that our paths didn’t cross.

Jacque never broke up with me. She simply disappeared after that first term at TTU. She didn’t return to school in January, and I never saw nor heard from her again. It’s my good luck that things worked out that way because I’d never have been able to avoid George forever.

God is gracious. The last year of college Amy and I began dating. That was in 1973. In 1974 we were married. Bless her heart; she’s put up with me for nearly 36 years. I’m sure that there’ve been plenty of times she’s wanted to trade me in for a new one. Lucky for me, it didn’t happen. I know that break ups are gut-wrenching experiences. However, I also know they are just steps that lead to finding the right person. In the end, all the pain is somehow worth the reward.