Sitting in the waiting area of the surgery center in Oak Ridge, I watched a young couple across the lobby. Again, the differences in men and women zoomed into view, this time in the ways they approach business-like events.
At first, I didn’t realize the woman was accompanied by her partner since he was camped in the restroom. I tried the door to find it locked, and the ol’ boy took care of his business for no less than twenty-five minutes. Now, I believe that a person needs his space and privacy for some tasks, but not even I take that long in a restroom.
When he finally exited the facility, he ambled across the waiting area and dropped himself exhausted into a chair beside the young woman. He was so spent from his restroom venture that sitting up straight was out of the question. Instead, the young man half reclined and rested his shoulder on the arm of the adjacent chair. For the next half hour or more, he craned his neck to watch “Today.” A couple of times he nudged the girl with his elbow to make sure she heard what Matt Lauer said. Then he grunted in agreement to another comment. I’m not sure the guy could have made an important decision or performed a single task.
The woman sat with a small child, and I overheard her tell a nurse that the baby was fifteen days old. The surgery center isn’t necessarily the healthiest place for a newborn, but she must have not had anyone to baby-sit. She loaded up the child, carrier, purse, and some machine and moved to a room for a consultation. Again, I overheard the staff tell her that a second child who was having some kind of surgery would definitely experience pain and that the prescriptions should be filled as soon as possible.
She returned to her chair and retrieved a bottle to feed the infant. As she cradled and fed the little one, this young woman studied the scripts the nurse had handed her, and then with care filed them away in her purse. She would be responsible for having them filled, although her partner might drive her to the drugstore and sit in the car while she did so.
The couple later walked to a room where the second child lay. This little girl moaned and cried with pain. Nurses worked to make her comfortable, and the mom pitched in to help. The dad, however, sat on the foot of the bed and did nothing but make himself a nuisance. However, he never made a move to get out of the way, and I saw the woman glare at him a couple of times with a look of total disgust.
The entire scene reminded me of the many times I’ve failed to “man up” and take charge of situations. Amy assumed the mature person role and handled everything while I sat like an inanimate lump that was incapable of thinking. When she finished business, I followed her out the door like a third child.
My observations over the years convince me that, in general, most men act this way. We are either oblivious to what goes on around us or we are too lazy or immature to care. No matter, we, the beings that are stronger and larger, take one step back to allow the so-called “weaker sex” the room necessary to solve problems. It’s for sure that our family and its financial well being and health would have failed had it not been for the meticulous and logical actions of Amy.
When she awoke from the surgical procedure, I gave her a kiss, a hug, and a “thank you.” I even took charge and waited on her when she arrived home. I managed to have prescriptions filled without any help. Women have been “manning up” for a long time. Maybe it’s time we males did so a little more often. We’ll definitely look better to our wives and to others who might observe our actions.
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