Moronic Motorists

The other day an elderly woman lost her cool. She decided the best way to solve her dilemma was to bump an officer who was directing traffic at Hardin Valley. It’s no surprise to me that the incident occurred. In years gone by, I’ve been locked up with angry drivers at schools.

I always volunteered to take the first tour of bus duty when the school year began. That way it was out of the way, and I didn’t have to worry about forgetting the chore or stand outside in the cold weather. As many as a dozen other staff members and I took positions along the drive in front of the school.

The traffic began snarling a few minutes after 8:00 a.m. Drivers waited until the last possible minute to make their ways to school. The line snaked off campus and sometimes as far as a quarter of a mile. It was obvious that students were going to be tardy and their parents would be arriving late to work. That made already frayed nerves edgier.

We tried to keep cars moving. We waved parents to the far end of the drive, and there they could drop off their children. However, too many moms and dads didn’t want their babies to walk the extra 100 feet. They’d stop smack dab in front of the school, even though doing so was like clogging a sink drain. They didn’t care as long as their children weren’t inconvenienced.

Those people are the ones at whom I’d whistle and wave my arms. Sure, I had a disgusted look on my face when those parents acted so selfishly. Some of the “grown-ups” took exception to my actions. Dads would glare at me; moms would salute me with middle fingers. Even grandparents would mouth words at me as they drove by.
On one occasion, I barked at a mom to pull all the way down so that she didn’t block traffic. She complied, but not without glaring at me when she made the turn to leave. To my surprise, this female had pulled into a parking spot and returned to confront me.

While I don’t remember her exact words, it’s for sure that her sentences were filled with expletives and words that questioned my parentage. I continued directed traffic, but managed to tell this irate female to leave on at least three occasions. Not being able to take anymore virulence, I turned to this she-devil, put on my best furious face and told her to shut up, get in the car and go home. If she didn’t, I told her I would have the school officer handcuff her and haul her sorry fanny to jail.

It worked. The mother left, but not without one last tirade laced with profanities. The rest of my day was shot. Some of the toughest teaching days are due to crazy parents. The incident at Hardin Valley shows plenty of whacko’s are still out there.

If people don’t want to get caught in school traffic, why don’t they put their babies on the big yellow limousines that cruise the roads each morning and afternoon? It’s for sure school would run more smoothly if out-of-control drivers did so. The traffic problems would lessen, school employees wouldn’t worry about being verbally or physically attacked by an individual suffering from road rage.