A SMOOTHER JOURNEY

The older I grow,  the more I come to realize that life resembles a ride on the biggest roller coaster in existence, and it’s a ride that travels much too fast for my taste. Those rides that make stomachs rise to throats and frazzle nerves aren’t things I find particularly fun; more my style is a slow moving boat on a waterway that flows through an amusement park’s grounds. Nevertheless, as long as folks take breath on this planet, they’ll encounter the highs and lows that come with each day. The ways they handle those lows that come determine what kind of lives they will have.

We all will face disappointments in life. They occur when events don’t match expectations. Yep, we often set ourselves up for disappointments when we are unrealistic about life. Dreaming is not a bad thing. Thoureau stated, “"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.”He then added, “Now put the foundations under them.” Too often we skip that second part and then wonder why things didn’t work out.

Sometimes our disappointments are the end results of losses. We might lose jobs that provided us with the security we need in life. We go from the happiness of employment and the benefits it brings to the fear of uncertainty. Maybe we lost the job because of re-organization of a company. It might have occurred due to poor performance, or perhaps office politics lowered the boom as a higher-up chose us to take the fall for his incompetence.

The loss of a loved one through death or divorce can drop us to our knees. We wonder what could have been done to stop our partners from leaving. We punish ourselves for not spending enough time with the person who has passed. Many people cry out in anger and simply ask “Why?” The height of frustration swallows us when no answer comes.  

One action during the down times is to make every effort to correct problems. An individual can look to himself for answers of how he contributed to the situation. That self-examination might lead to the discovery that actions or attitudes contributed to the negative results. If that’s the case, he must decide if a personal change is worthwhile.

Sometimes, a person investigates those downturns in life too much. He wonders why things happen; he worries that something wrong within himself has caused the problem. Fretting over disappointments or events in uncontrollable situations accomplishes nothing. At some point, beating up oneself is unproductive and excessive.

The truth of the matter is that at times there is nothing any of us can do to “fix it.” Our abilities to heal, mend, or understand run out. It is at those moments that we can look outside ourselves. We can call on a power greater than we are. Yes, our prayers go up for help or understanding. Then we turn loose of those things completely. That’s the hard part. We just can’t stand not being in control, even if we can do nothing to change things.But if we step out and take that leap of faith, we might just be surprised how things turn out.

The good lord wants the best for all his children. He will shoulder the unbearable; He will take on the worry; He will lay out a new path that is better. Our jobs are to simply get out of His way. That means waiting for His time, not our own. Doing so might be the most difficult task. When that brick wall  of conflict appears, we surely can’t run  through it, so why not let it go?  

No, I don’t mean to preach. It’s just that in the last few years, I’ve faced such things, and I’ve eventually asked for help with them. It came in ways that I didn’t expect, and I’m grateful. My roller coaster ride then became a smoother journey.

   

STEAMED KITCHEN WINDOWS

This time of year always makes me sit back and think about times gone by. I grow a bit nostalgic, and just a fleeting thought can fill my eyes with tears.

The weather cools too quickly for my aching joints, but years ago, it never bothered me a lick. We boys in the neighborhood would arrive home from school, change into our old play clothes and shoes, and let the screen door slap the jam as we ran to the side yard for a game of tackle football. Games lasted until dark. We’d stop only when the call “Supper” drifted out of doors in the neighborhood. We swept off the dust with our hands and rubbed grass-stained knees before turning toward our houses. It was a sad time because we knew that night would swallow the rest of the day and deny us more plays of glory until the next afternoon.

Even though fingers and toes numbed from the drop in the temperature, we boys were covered in sweat from the game. The smell from a young boy is a mixture of dirt, exertion, and hormones. Feet proved to be so smelly that shoes were required until bath time. We quenched our thirst during those epic football battles with water straight from the hose. The taste of plastic flavored the water, but no one care; it still revived us enough to continue the game.

When Jim and I walked toward the door that opened into a hall next to the kitchen, we noticed that the windows were steamed. That was the sign that supper was cooking and almost on the table. No matter what the menu included, we were always ready and willing to eat. To the right of the door was a huge oven, an oversized appliance that could cook six pies at a time. The same pots with which Mother began housekeeping sat on eyes of the stove. They’d hold such things as stewed potatoes, hominy, soup beans, and corn. Another vessel would be filled with meat or spaghetti and sauce.

At the far end of the room sat a large round oak table. Chairs surrounded it, and as soon as we sat, the warning not to lean back in them greeted us. Plates and silverware were set and ready for the onslaught of three brothers who could devour all the prepared food and still be hungry. A large glass of milk was poured for each of us, and they would be filled again midway through supper. Mother warned us to hold our forks correctly and not to use them as shovels.

The best thing in that kitchen was Mother. She sat upon her S&H green stamp stool, and in front of her were a cup of cold coffee, a pack of cigarettes, and a pad and pen. While she

yakked on the phone, her right hand pushed a pencil as she drew doodles that covered the page. On that stool, she found the first rest she’d had after a day of teaching, cooking, washing, and cleaning for her family. She never uttered the first complaint.  

After supper came time for homework and baths. We’d sit on the edge of the tub as the water ran and splash it in an effort to make Mother believe we were washing ourselves. Sometimes we were caught and sent back to “do it again.” We donned pajamas, watched a little television, and then made our ways to bed.

The outside temperatures quickly cooled the block and plaster walls. We curled up underneath quilts that our Mamaw had made. They warmed our bodies, and we drifted off to sleep.

Those were good times, but I don’t want to go back. I love my life now, my wife and family and friends. Still, I miss those carefree times. I also miss Mother and my brother and several of the boys with whom I grew up. This evening I’m going to walk down to the yard where so many football games took place and just spend some quiet time remembering. I’ll look on my way back inside my house to see if the windows are steamed.

THANKFUL FOR WHAT I DON'T HAVE

Yes, it’s Thanksgiving time again. The world has spun around the sun and brought us once again to a day during which we count our blessings. We are supposed to pause for a moment to reflect upon the things for which we are grateful. This year, however, I’ve decided to list what I’m thankful NOT to have.

First off, I am immensely thankful that I no longer have the presidential election with which to keep up. You see, I’m a political junkie, and for the past two years I’ve had a daily fix of the lead stories from both sides. I rise early to view the latest news on “Good Morning Joe” and CNN. Now the election has been held, and a selection has been made. I’m now free to turn my attention and concern to much more important things, such as spending time with my wife, catching up on my reading, or raking and mowing mountains of fallen leaves.

Along the same lines, I’m thankful that I don’t have to run this country. Why anyone would want to be the President of the United States is beyond me. The decisions to be made come in waves each and every day. It’s a job where the person is damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t take a certain action. I have enough difficulty taking care of my life; being responsible for the well-being of millions more is too much. Look at presidents when they take office and then leave it. In a short time, they’ve aged far too quickly. Besides, the pay scale for the job isn’t that grand.

I am thankful not to have to worry about my children’s education. Lacey and Dallas have graduated from college and are established in their careers. I am glad that they aren’t part of the public school system as it exists these days. The pressure on students to excel and make all A’s is so intense. Many young people suffer from anxiety and depression over school and future admissions to colleges. They also fret over the escalating cost of higher education and the mountains of debt with which they might graduate. My children worked to help with college expenses, and Amy and I paid for their studies toward a Bachelor’s degree. I’m not sure we could do that today.

I am also glad that I do not teach in today’s schools. I now substitute for teachers in high schools, and my sympathies are with them. The demands on them to meet each item on an evaluator’s checklist

many times keep them from being effective teachers. Sure, some teachers play the game, and then teach what they know students need. I would never achieve a passing evaluation grade these days.

I’m thankful that I no longer must work every day. At this point in life, I choose when I want to substitute. Most of the time, three days a week is plenty. The rest of the week is mine to complete “honey-do’s” and other jobs around the house or on my computer. My stamina isn’t enough so that I can put in a full work week, and I’m glad not to have to.

I am thankful not to have any serious health condition. Friends are now facing difficult times as they battle illness. Some family members slowly drift away from us as Alzheimer’s takes them over. My life is filled with aches and pains in joints and muscles. I don’t enjoy dealing with them, but they do serve as a reminder that I’m still alive and kicking, even if my pace is somewhat slower.

Last of all, I am thankful that I don’t have hundreds of thousands of words trapped on the computer’s hard drive. The Knoxville Focus has for several years allowed me to publish my thoughts and opinions and recollections and to share them with folks. Whether or not readers agree with me, I love to write and have them react. Writing is a supreme gift from God, and I am blessed to be able to have a forum for presenting them to the public.

I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with family and good food. Give thanks for your what you have and don’t have. Blessings are bountiful in both areas.

GET OVER IT

Life is full of surprises. Most of us like them, but sometimes they are too overwhelming to take in. When that happens, we run into problems.

This presidential election took many folks’ including me, by surprise. After all the vitriol that President-elect Trump spewed for two years, I thought for certain he would be crushed in the election. I’ve never been so wrong about anything. In fact, I still find it incredible that the man was chosen to run this country.

No, I don’t like him. I don’t like his entourage, and I am none too fond of his choices for cabinet posts. I fear his policy decisions will further sink this nation in a swirling sea of debt. The rich will get richer, and the rest of us, well, will be left to gather scraps that are thrown to us. The environment will be under attack as regulations are rolled back or dumped; alliances with long-standing friends will be bruised or severed.

Right now, many of us who were stunned by the election results are playing Chicken Little; we fear that the sky is falling. Perhaps such a feeling is just one step in the process of grieving. Yes, folks are grieving over their losses, and it is not all right for winners to poke fun of them. I don’t suspect anyone would be so cruel if a person were upset over the loss of a loved one. So, let’s hope that the folks who supported Donald Trump will knock it off.

At the same time, it’s time for protesting groups to accept the fact that this election is over. No amount of marching or rioting or looting will change the results. Those who call for the electoral college to vote contrary to what is right need to hush. Trump and his supporters whined that the election was rigged. They were wrong; however, you are calling on folks to rig an election by changing their votes. Give me a break about holding sessions for young people who are distraught over the outcome. From news reports, at least half of the protesters didn't even vote.

The time has come for us who suffered a loss in this election to stop sniveling and get on with life. It’s time to get over it. Let's say our prayers and give this duly elected individual a chance. Let's see how he performs. Yes, we must stay ever vigilant. At the same time, let's see how much the members of congress stand up for us in the middle. Donald Trump said he would work to help us; let's keep his feet held to the fire of that promise. If he fails to follow through on his promises, then his constituency will see him for what he truly is.

The simple fact is that democracy worked. No, it did not come up with the candidate I supported, but the process is much more important than any single person. The people have spoken, the election is over, and it is time to turn our attention to the actions and events that are to come. We might just be surprised how this presidential choice might lead to a congress that finally works together. Let's hope so at least.