NOT PERFECT

We hear that things are “perfect” all the time. Of late, that perfection has centered around a telephone call, but over the course of our lives, many claims of perfection are proclaimed. In truth, we all know nothing is perfect.  

Amy and I discovered soon after we began dating that we loved each other. Over a few months, our time was spent together when we weren’t in classes at Tennessee Tech. At some point, we just knew in our bones that we were meant to be together.  

I was a student who earned a little each month for serving as a dorm head resident. That meant money was tight, but I still wanted to buy an engagement ring for Amy. I’m not sure exactly when we traveled to the jeweler to pick out a diamond and setting, but I remember the owner presented several stones. One diamond that the jeweler finally showed us was not his best. He said it had a flaw in it, nothing that was visible to the naked eye but still a little cloud on one spot. Amy okayed it, and we waited for the rings to be made and sized. That diamond was imperfect, but it was good enough to present at the altar on our wedding day.  

Amy and I have worked since our teens. Part time jobs and full-time ones have provided living wages. I spent 30 years teaching high school English, and I enjoyed that time. However, no year was ever perfect. Some years, the classes I taught weren’t much fun. Sometimes I struggled with misbehaving students and even a couple of future criminals. However, for the most part, I loved what I did, and I have good memories of hundreds of students. Still, the job was far from perfect.  

Amy’s work experiences haven’t been perfect either. She’s been a “worker bee” and a “boss” in jobs. She’s worked long hours and fretted over things that I didn’t understand. All the while, she made good friends and memories at each job. My wife can always find positives in any situation, but she would never say her work life has been perfect.  

Amy and I are working on our 45th year of marriage. That’s a long time, especially for a woman who married at the age of 19. We are still in love and devoted to each other, but the road hasn’t always been easy. That first year was tough as we learned to live with someone new. Finances sometimes have sparked some angry words, and too often through the years, I’ve been hateful and gruff, and my words have been hurtful. Adding children to the mix brought about some tense moments, and, yes, some dark times have tested our love and dedication. Even so, we’ve come out on the other side stronger and closer. Our marriage has not been perfect, but It’s stood the test of time. 

A fewer years ago, we brought Sadie into our lives. She was a rescue dog, and I knew she was the right one when I saw her face on a website. Unfortunately, another family had already adopted her, but they brought her back within a week because she had “accidents” in the house. She’s ours now, and we love her completely. She’s made some of the hard times over the last 6 years easier to bear, and we’re sure she was sent to us. This past spring, we discovered that Sadie has a cancerous tumor growing in the roof of her mouth. It’s inoperable, so we watch and wait and pray. Sadie comes as close to perfect as any pet could ever come, but she isn’t. That just makes us love her more. 

Life is filled with opportunities and events and people that make existing richer and fuller. However, bumps in the road and natural flaws keep it from being perfect. I’ll take the imperfect any time. For one thing, it makes living much more interesting. For another, I can’t compete with perfection.  

VALVE OIL

As soon as I unzipped the bag, that familiar smell wafted out. It was as strong now as back in the 1960’s. I’m not sure what’s in the backpack that I carry to school, Gallatin, and any other traveling destination created the same odor. Perhaps it’s the laptop and devices that go with it. Maybe it’s the mid-morning snacks crammed into the bag.  It also might come from more than 10 years of wear from carrying this thing with me. At any rate, that smell hit me and beamed me back almost 50 years ago. What was that powerful essence that filled my nose and flooded my head with memories: valve oil. 

Ball Camp School fifth graders had the chance to join beginning band. My older brother was in the high school band, and Jim and I couldn’t wait until we also could begin playing instruments. My twin

brother started on an old clarinet that I think belonged to an older cousin. He might not have been excited to play that instrument but accepted it and set out to work conquering it.  

I wanted to play the trumpet because the screeches from a reed instrument always made me think of scratching a blackboard. Mother and Daddy traveled to Hewgley’s Music Store and purchased a coronet. It’s a shortened trumpet, and I suppose they

bought it because the thing was less expensive. I didn’t care; the horn was shiny and new. 

At first the only things I could get out of the horn were sounds that resembled wounded animals or wildlife bellowing for a mate. Charles Scott, the band director, worked with his new crop of musicians, and before long, we belted out such popular tunes as “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” 

Lots of slobbering occurred as novice musicians struggled with instruments. Mr. Scott showed me where the spit valve was located and how to blow through the horn to clear the stuff from it. When a bubbly sound came when playing the horn, I knew it was time to empty it out.  

After playing the horn for a while, the valves would also become sticky. They no longer glided in the tubes in which they were housed. That meant the time had come to unscrew them, remove them from the horn, and apply a few drops of oil. Bingo! The valves once again worked perfectly. 

The downside was at the end of each class, a puddle of spit covered the floor at my feet, and the smell of the oil was trapped on my hands and in my nostrils. It never seemed to fade, and the smell oozed out of the horn case any time I opened it.  

I played that horn through my freshman year in high school. No, I wasn’t the best, but neither was I the worst. I practiced, on occasion, at home, but the music never sounded good. I wore braces at the time, and the mouthpiece pressing against that metal on my teeth proved to be uncomfortable. I had reached the pinnacle of my musical instrument abilities and decided to leave band.  

The next year, Mother sold my coronet so that she could purchase a new clarinet for Jim, who went on to become a music major and a band director. Even though the horn is gone, any time I smell anything that resembled that valve oil, plenty of good memories come back. My best friends from high school were in band also, and I enjoy seeing them and talking about those good times a half century ago. To some, valve oil reeks, but to me, that strong smell is mixed with some sweet thoughts of another time.  

DISGUSTED

In short, I'm disgusted. This piece is written straight to my website before having been published in any paper because it probably wouldn't pass muster with them. So, I'm setting forth my thoughts here. Some might be offended by what I'm about to write; others might say "hell yes." My purpose is not to influence anyone from either side. It is, instead, to express my thoughts so that I can finally put them rest and can find some peace of mind in knowing that I've done all within my power.

This week in America has been a real shit show. It began with the realization that Trump will not be impeached or held accountable for anything he has done. Monday evening featured the first step of the Democrats' race for the presidential nomination. However, due to a glitch in the app that was to be a breakthrough in quickly reporting outcomes, we're still waiting for the final total and the winner of the caucus. Tuesday night, President Trump returned to "reality tv." This time he gave a State of the Union address that featured a surprise return home of a veteran to his family that took place in the gallery; the presentation of the highest civilian award to a man who has, by his own admission, worked hard to divide the country and promote a conservative agenda that debases anyone who disagrees with it; and the awarding of a scholarship to a school to a young black girl. A heavy sprinkling of lies flavored the speech so heavily that most people found it hard to swallow.

Today, the senate will vote and will acquit Trump for wrongdoings to which he has admitted. His supporters also say the president has done wrong, but his actions don't rise to the level of impeachment. So, this president will be given carte blanche to continue abusing his power, shaking down smaller countries, and enriching himself and his family. He is now above the law, or at least that's what senate Republicans have determined.

I am disgusted with this president, his family, and his administration. All failed to uphold the principles of the U.S. Those serving in various areas of the administration have violated their oaths of office by becoming weak sycophants to a man who is a bully. To them, office, power, and personal gain are much more important than service to the country. These individuals are not statesmen; they are soldiers in the Trump Mafia.

Worse still are the similarities of this president's beginnings to Hitler's rise. Both used lies to stir up people. They criminalized and degraded an entire race to instill fear in their countries. In addition, they imprisoned those individuals and separated children from parents. They degraded journalists and banned some from the right to cover the news, and they used one media outlet as though it were the state-run media. In the end, the standing of this country in the world is the weakest it's been in modern times, and many countries worry about the lack of actions for democracy by our government.

I'm also tired of the opposing party. It offers little hope for unseating this corrupt president. Leading candidates are extremists on the other side of the spectrum. They win favor by promising everything: free healthcare, free education, debt forgiveness, $1000 a month, and increase in wages. Democrats support these "pie in the sky" salesmen and saleswomen while ignoring the facts that the majority of the country does not favor a socialist agenda, that those proposals can never be passed in congress, and that the country cannot pay for the plans, even with tax increases on the wealthiest. Supporters fail to realize that nothing is free; things come with a price, and that price is hefty tax increases in everyone's taxes.

This party appears to be incompetent to the public. Many wonder how a party can run a country when it can't even run a primary caucus. Such ineptitude plays into the hands of the opposition party and becomes fodder for campaign rallies by the president.

I hold little hope for this country right now. The Democrats appear unable to forge a coalition that produces a strong candidate who can actually beat the president. The president is unfit for office and plans to cut such things a Medicare, Social Security, and healthcare coverage for those with pre-existing conditions. The extremes of both parties have hijacked the country, and I'm not sure those of us in the middle can take it back.

The U.S. is desperate for quality leadership. We don't have it now. Can we find it from someone who can bring both sides together? If not, my concerns are for my children and grandson. They deserve better than what our so-called "leaders" are giving us.